Worth Waiting For
by twintailed
Summary: Roxas waits for the next life; though it's harder than it sounds. Axel/Roxas, for AkuRoku Day.


_**Worth Waiting For**_

_**a/n: **This was originally written on AkuRoku Day 2009, 13th August. I wanted to write something this year for one of my favourite pairings. Which ended up with me, at 1am on the actual day, trying to come up with some idea to think about. Eventually, I thought of the first line, and decided that it worked; that I could write something about it. So I quickly made some notes, and those notes came to be this after I spent a few hours writing it up._

* * *

There are some things you can wait for.

But, Roxas had to wonder, on principle. Of all the things to wait for - the certain days, the meetings with ones you held dear, and so on - was another life one of them? Another time to meet? Another time to be friends again?

He could answer them all easily in the heartbeat he lacked. Yes. Of course they were. But saying and doing are too entirely different things.

Roxas knew, that the time on the tower with Axel would be the last time he would see him. In this life, it would be. He wouldn't see him again. At the time, he hadn't questioned that the infamous redhead would solely belong to dreams he couldn't have, memories that grew old and worn and faded. He hadn't asked against the fact they wouldn't see each again. Because, he knew, they would. They would wait for the next life to see each other again.

Axel had said so, afterall. And Roxas wasn't going to doubt it.

But actually waiting for the next life was a lot harder than he even could have thought.

Sure, there were distractions, locked up within Sora's soul - he saw the world through his eyes, he still saw glimpses of Naminé on occasion within Kairi's kind hearted gaze, it was amusing, to say the least, when Kairi beat Sora at sword fighting, and so many other times, so many other things that happened, and days he could whim away by not looking out upon the world but almost hiding in the dark - but days passed, and there were only more days, countless, endless, rolling days to follow. He had a reason to be here, still. He knew that. Though, even then, a next life would be so far away.

Years didn't blend into one - they stretched out, into infinity, forever going on, and on. A horizon he couldn't see in the distance. Like midday Twilight Town would never get. A resolve that seemed to fade as the future one wanted never got any closer. Ever.

The longer time goes on, stretching forever, an enemy strong enough to make your strength of will buckle always comes along; and something like this is no exception. Doubt was his enemy. Even if he trusted he would meet Axel again; he doubted it. He doubted that they'd both get one. Did they even deserve it?

Would they even _get_ a next life to meet again?

Was it worth waiting for?

And time still stretched on forever. Waiting for the next life felt like forever.

But, perseverance to get there was on his side. He had to. He wanted to wait. And little by little, that horizon got closer; closer and closer.

Closer, and--

"Roxas, wake up."

-- Then he would see him again, in another life, after so many wrongs they'd had in this one --

"Dammit, Roxas, _wake up_!"

-- And the years that felt like forever would disappear as a new forever came to be --

"_Roxas!_"

Roxas blinked, finding himself being roughly shaken awake, his eyes not coming face to face with the ceiling he was accustomed to, but deep, penetrating green eyes looking over him - with, wait, was that a trace of worry? Nah, couldn't be - and looking like he was about to shout again.

"What? You don't have to shout," Roxas grumbled, suddenly realising he was not, as he thought, asleep in his bed, but somehow lying on the floor next to the couch, TV buzzing away in the background. So that explained the chronic backache, and why his ears were ringing, and the fact he was wearing yesterday's clothes.

"When you're rolling around on the floor, and _won't_ wake up after twenty minutes, then that's something to shout about," Axel replied, stern. "You weren't having another nightmare, were you?"

So maybe that hint of worry in his eyes wasn't so far off the mark. "Axel. You weren't worried about me, were you?"

Axel let out a mixture of a sigh of exasperation and a cough - odd as it was. "No. I was _concerned_ that you weren't waking up."

"Ax, that's basically worrying about me."

"Shut up," Axel responded, punching him in the shoulder - Roxas inwardly thinking now, not only did his back feel like it was going to explode, now his shoulder did, too. "So. Were you, or not?"

"Not what?"

"Having a nightmare."

Roxas shook his head, slowly. "No..." he started, thinking back to what he had been thinking, dreaming about. As Axel had brought him round before whatever it was had finished, the details were sketchy to say the least, but as time went by, details came sharper, clearer, and now, it really was coming back to him. "I was waiting. For this," he gestured round the room.

Axel raised an eyebrow. "To wake up in your living room?"

"_No_," Roxas said, face palming, with a why-do-I-even-bother look at his best friend. "This. This life," he continued. "It was off before. And waiting for the next life..."

Sure, this kind of subject would only be brought up between believers of such things as reincarnation; but Roxas and Axel had always known this was there next life. It was just was. The strength of knowing they'd meet again in a previous one; and they remembered it all.

"... It..." Roxas paused, finding the room, despite rays of sunshine filtering in through the haphazardly closed blinds, cold, and dark, and empty. He shuddered; the feeling of waiting forever to see Axel again hitting him with enough force to send reason out the window, as he unconsciously leant his head forward onto Axel's shoulder, just to prove he was there.

That he was breathing. And this still wasn't a dream. And that he still wasn't waiting for that next life, like he had before.

That he still wasn't trapped in the dark.

Axel, not expecting this, didn't immediately react; only slowly looking at Roxas, his blonde hair not quite quivering, but close enough; and the weight on his shoulder almost scared. For a moment, he couldn't say anything, until he spoke. "Roxas? This isn't like you."

"I know," he said quietly; not even, now in control of his actions, able to pull away; to show even more weakness in his face at the overpowering feelings that hit him now, because in this life, he truly had a heart. "I know. You have no idea... it felt... like forever. Waiting, and not knowing... it felt like forever."

"Getting another life isn't forever," Axel said, tentatively, not mocking him, though not entirely seeing his point, either.

"It felt like it," Roxas muttered. "Just then, looking at it all like that... it felt like it."

Slowly, Axel patted his shoulder - and from Roxas' vantage point, he wasn't even sure if he'd just simply imagined it or if it really had happened. "I know," he said shortly. "It did for me too."

Roxas was quiet for a moment, letting the silence flow over him, and the distant _thud, thud_ of his heart fill his ears - even the sound of the TV was nothing, or the flow of voices on the street outside. It was just him, and Axel. Cautiously, he slowly but gradually looked up at him - finding the green eyes with his eyes shocking blue ones, and he looked at him, for a long few seconds.

"Was it worth it?" He wondered aloud; to himself, but also on Axel's behalf, too, his voice echoing round the room. "Waiting forever?"

Axel nodded. "To see you again, forever is nothing."

Roxas conceded. Forever was just a small barrier to cross to gain what they'd never had; a chance, a heart. They'd waited so long, but now they finally had what they never had before. And despite all the odds, no matter what they were - they had truly met again in the next life.

"Yes," he said simply. There was so much else to say, so many things he wanted to say - but he decided, that the best thing now, was to allow himself another moment of weakness, of true spontaneous-ness and emotion - by leaning forward again, this time, to meet Axel halfway, as Roxas knew he would; for something that could say everything he wanted, everything Axel wanted to say in response, that both of them understood.

There are some things you can wait for.

There are some things _worth_ waiting for.

Another life was one of them.


End file.
